summer don't know me no more
by byzinha
Summary: When Yakone's trial lands Toph in a near death experience and she finds herself in the spirit world, she has to choose. / or that The OA au that I've been dying to write in forever


**Author's note** : Hello there!

I had this idea a while ago and I just let it cook until I couldn't take it no more and decided to write. If you haven't watched The OA, don't worry, my beta hasn't either. However, if you're into weird shows, I believe you might like it. Is it overcomplicated? Probably. Do I love it anyway? Yes, I did.

So here it is, a The OA au in witch Toph is Prairie and Yakone's trial landed her ass in a little near death experience. This might be a little out of character, but please consider that everything is new for Toph.

 **The characters of Avatar do not belong to me.**

Thanks Jenna (littlecajunlady88) for beta reading this for me!

Have a nice read, guys! And leave me a review at the end, if you feel in your heart to do so ^^ x

* * *

 **summer don't know me no more**

A Toph/Tokka The OA au

" _Summer don't know me, he just let me love in my sea  
'Cause I do know, Lord, from you that just died_."  
 _El mañana_ – Gorillaz

Yakone's trial. There was something about it that made Toph uneasy. She couldn't quite put a finger on it.

It took her _years_ to have enough evidence to lock him in jail forever, and with Aang by her side they finally had Yakone under the law. They were one step away from putting him away forever. If anything she should be confident, but his body language was _off_.

As soon as the sentence was given, hell broke loose and there was nothing worse than the lack of control that came over her body, the way she was forced to do what she didn't want to with any vision whatsoever. She knew she took the keys and opened Yakone's shackles. She knew she was setting the worst human being free and it was completely out of her control.

And then-

There was nothing.

Until there was everything.

-xxx-

Toph was shaking when she opened her eyes and the colors were different. Not the same black and white she was used to from her seismic vision, but different. Brighter and… so confusing.

She was on the ground and her eyes moved rapidly from side to side trying to understand what was going on. A soft breeze whistled in her ear and she turned her head to the left, the tip of the grass tingling her nose.

 _Where was she?_

The Chief of police looked up again and blinked, unable to make sense of anything.

"Don't you love the blue of the prairie sky?" someone said, and only then Toph realized that there was a person, a woman covered in weird tattoos, laying by her other side.

She sat up immediately, her senses coming to the surface, and she took in the calm demeanor of the woman laying on her back with her arms behind her head pillowing it. That was when she realized.

"I can see," Toph gasped, her hands on her face, fingers touching the skin under her eyes in awe.

The woman chuckled as she saw Toph turn to one side and the other, taking in the view of that place. A prairie, the woman had said. And the sky… was so… overwhelmingly beautiful, it was breathtaking. Blue. _That_ was blue. That was what it meant.

Toph looked down at the grass between her fingers on the ground. She pulled some and brought the tiny leaves to her nose, taking a deep breath with closed eyes. She could hear Lin's voice in her head – _green is the smell of summer grass recently watered and cut_. She opened her eyes and looked at it, the contrast it made against her skin. Her Lin could not have described a color more perfectly.

"What is this place?" Toph asked. "Who _are_ you?"

The woman didn't leave her relaxed position as she answered.

"This is the spirit world, child. And I'm Kazuo, your guide."

The words didn't make much sense at first, their meaning slowly snaking their way into Toph's brain like the night tidal.

"Spirit guide? In the spirit world? What the hell, did I _die_? I can't die!" Panic had a much faster rise inside her and she shot to her feet and started to pace by Kazuo's side, her head spinning with every story about the spirit world her tutor told her when she was little. "I can't, this can't be happening! I need to go back. Kazuo," Toph kneeled down again, head bowed in respect, and touched the woman's arm. "How do I go back?"

"Why would you want to?" Kazuo asked, leaning against her left elbow to get in a half-sitting position. "This is the best place you could ever be."

Before she noticed, Toph already was shaking her head, her hair coming loose on her eyes as usual. Except that now she knew how they curtained her vision.

The reality of it hit her again briefly. She was seeing. She was _actually_ seeing the world – or at least _a_ world – for the very first time in her life, and it was _beautiful._ She wished Sokka was by her side now, just so she could tell him. She wanted to see her girls, at least once. Just once.

With teared eyes, Toph looked at Kazuo.

"Yakone's trial. Did he kill me?"

Kazuo nodded somberly, her mouth shut. A tear dropped on Toph's cheek and down her chin to the prairie's ground. She didn't see the marigold that poked out of the humid dirt after it.

"I can't be dead, Kazuo, I have to go back to them," Toph said, her voice cracking.

"Who would you have to go back to? Who's strong enough to make you want to leave it here, Sifu Toph?"

More tears streamed down her face and she took a shaky breath.

"My girls," Toph said. Between her and Kazuo, grew the marigolds. "I can't leave my girls. Lin is tough as nails, but she's eight, and her baby sister… she's only two, she just turned two, my _Baobao_ Suyin."

Toph looked down at her clothes. The marigolds were tangling on the soft fabric of her light green dress, painting it in hot colors. She didn't know when she changed from her police uniform to this, but these clothes were so comfortable.

Her hands rested on her belly. It had taken a while, but she lost the weight she had gained while she was pregnant with Su, thanks to her training. If she concentrated, sometimes she could still feel it; not the weight but the flutter of carrying another life inside her. The same thing had happened with Lin.

Toph knew the feeling would fade eventually, but it had been such a short time since she pushed Su out that they still felt connected somehow.

Kazuo held her hands on top of Toph's belly. She was so solid. The back of her hand sported a tattoo that grew to her forearms forming patterns that Toph didn't recognize, though some reminded her of the bending elements of her world.

"There's a price, Sifu Toph, there's always a price," Kazuo said sitting up, her legs crossed Indian style; her hand pressed a little harder on Toph's wrists and belly.

"I will take it. Just let me go back."

Kazuo looked intently into Toph's eyes and had the stare reciprocated just as intensely.

"These types of coming and goings are rare and beautiful, but they are never free. Are you ready for the consequences?"

"As long as I can go back to my girls and my Sokka, that's all I want."

Kazuo shook her head.

"There's something else you desire," she said all knowing. "You _want_ to see."

Toph shook her head, torn.

"I never needed to see, thanks to my bending, and I'm perfectly capable of moving on like this," she said firmly. Her eyes drifted to the horizon for a moment, where the sun was shining in warm colors that she couldn't name. Her heart fluttered. "However, I wouldn't mind seeing my girls' faces, just once."

She looked at Kazuo again, a new set of tears dropping on her cheeks. This time, when they hit the ground, they turned into a bonsai that grew between the flowers and quickly bore lian-wus.

Kazuo said nothing for a long time as Toph wept, mumbling about the tease of all those colors, textures and smells and about how she would never, ever forget them. She was grateful to know now. Because she knew now, and when Sokka would describe the sunset to her again, she'd understand. When he'd stop talking and just sigh, she'd understand. The memory was enough. It was.

It was.

She had to go.

Toph looked at Kazuo. Crying exhausted her, as usual. Dying exhausted her. She didn't notice before, but Kazuo's eyes had different colors; they contained the whole universe, it seemed. It was intimidating.

Finally, the spirit guide nodded. She pointed at the bonsai.

"Eat," Kazuo said and that easily Toph, who never did anything but what she wanted from the moment she turned her back on the Beifong estate to now, obeyed.

She reached down to the plant and plucked the wax apples off its branches. They were small, but when they were in contact with her hands, they turned into normal sized fruits, and when she bit on their tender meat, tearing their delicate skin, they tasted sweet and juicy, beyond human understanding of flavor.

Nothing would ever taste the same for Toph after this, she believed.

She ate fruit after fruit, and the more she picked from the bonsai, the more they grew. The more she ate, the more she wept, and for every tear she surrounded herself with marigolds that kissed her skin.

 _Why marigolds_ , Toph wondered as she picked the fruits, unable to find answers on her own. She kept going. If that was the way to go, she couldn't stop, Kazuo didn't tell her when to stop.

So Toph kept eating insatiably, until she felt numb and full and soft on the edges. She looked up thinking she'd face Kazuo, but the woman wasn't there. She fell on her hands, her stomach full, her lungs heavy.

"I can't eat no more," Toph said gasping. "It's too much. Just let me go back, please."

"Eat another one," Kazuo's voice came from behind Toph, but she was the wind now, and nothing more. Toph shook her head no. "Just one more, Sifu Toph, and then you'll go home."

Controlling her breathing, Toph reached for the bonsai under her. Her hair was falling on her shoulder and it was so very long and dark, the tips were sticking with the fruits' juice. There was only one more fruit in the tree, and she picked it with her left hand. The lian-wu turned to a normal size and Toph chewed it down in two bites – chunk, half of it; chunk, all of it.

The wind blew a little harder.

"For your sacrifice, Sifu Toph, the spirits give you more than you asked for," Kazuo whispered to her, taking away her consciousness at each word.

The world went black again as she fell over the bonsai tree and into oblivion. It was fine, the darkness was what she was used to. She blinked one last time, struggling to fixate the view of the prairie and its blue sky.

 _Goodbye_ , she thought. And she was gone.

-xxx-

The world hit her with a bang of noise and smells and cries – and his hands and kisses and voice, _Toph, please! Toph, my love, don't leave me_.

She blinked once and her face was wet. She didn't know if the tears were hers or his. She felt his hand tremble as he leaned back and pushed back her bangs; her eyes fluttered making him gasp with hope.

"Toph," he breathed out and her eyes opened slowly, tentatively.

This…

Toph reached out and touched his tear streaked cheek and the difference between the color of her skin and his was amazingly beautiful. She traced his cheekbone aware of how tight his arms were around her, and she cupped his cheek mesmerized.

Was she pale or was he dark? She couldn't make out where the difference was. She knew about the whispers, though, most of them happening at her parents' house when she first took Suyin to see the grandparents. Dark skinned like the lower class of the Earth Kingdom.

As if it mattered. _Look at him_ , she thought to herself, _he's beautiful_. In her head, she defied her family once again. _He's beautiful and he's mine_.

Those tears on her face, they were also hers. Definitely hers.

"Sokka," she said. Her voice was much softer than she thought it would be, and certainly softer than it normally was. The taste of lian-wu lingered in her tongue sweet and suggestive.

Toph pushed to sit up without breaking from his embrace. Through her bending she could sense a lot of unconscious people, as well as people waking up from the attack, but her eyes could not leave him. Sokka's eyes were clear and shiny and-

"Sokka," she said again. Her mind went back to a day almost thirty years ago when he tried to explain colors to her. _Blue, like the sky is blue_ , he'd said lamely. He was the worst, but also the best. Her favorite person, her best friend and for a while now her lover. Toph couldn't stop looking at him and her arms went around his neck. "The sky's got nothing on you."

"What?" he asked confused and she smirked.

"Your eyes," she said just for him. "So blue, so alive."

Blue. _That_ was what it meant.

Understanding came rather quickly on him, for someone she liked to call stupid every now and then. Toph knew Sokka wasn't, had never been, stupid, she just liked to tease. But to see the clarification come over him so fast as he looked in her eyes was something else.

"You can see," he said amazed. Smiling, she nodded. " _How?_ "

Sokka sounded amazed and terrified at the same time, and to be fair that was how Toph felt too.

"The spirits blessed me," she told him. "I don't know how long it'll last…"

Toph looked around, taking in the judging room of Republic City, searching. Sokka answered her unspoken question.

"Aang went after him. I believe it's over for real this time."

She sighed relieved, the memory of what she had just gone through in that place too much. She could hear the sirens of the healers' mobiles approaching, feel the wheels skidding to a halt in front of the building, the steps of a familiar person going up the steps.

"Katara is here," Toph said. "Wasn't she supposed to stay with the kids?"

"They must be with the acolytes," Sokka said simply and Toph looked at him with excitement.

"I need to see our girls," she said gripping his arm. He raised an eyebrow.

" _Our_?" he asked and she dismissed him with a roll of her eyes.

"I don't know how long it will last, Sokka, I need to see them," Toph urged.

Sokka already was getting on his feet and offered her a hand that she declined playfully. The moment she stood up she regretted not accepting his help, for her balance was off and she felt herself falling again. Her legs were wobbly and she couldn't stand. Sokka picked her up easily and carried her through the corridor.

"Katara!" he called and Toph shook her head.

She was numb, heavy, but she refused to close her eyes. She was afraid that if she did, when she'd open them again, her sight would be gone.

"Katara!" Sokka called again crossing the front doors of the building. The sun was bright and unmerciful. Toph covered her eyes.

-xxx-

She was brought up again by a shake and the first thing she saw was a hand pressing her wrist with two firm fingers. Funny how Toph had known Katara practically her whole life, but it felt different now.

"You two look alike," Toph said. Her voice was stronger now, despite her fainting again.

Katara looked up at her frowning and then at her brother, who was sitting on Toph's other side.

"I told you, she's seeing now. Look at her eyes, they're not foggy anymore."

Foggy? Toph didn't know that being blind made her eyes different. She had no reason to know, really. When she looked at Katara again, the woman was smiling.

"Just clear green like the girls," Sokka said dreamily and Toph raised an eyebrow.

"I see," Katara said warmly. "You had an experience with the spirits."

Toph shrugged and Katara released her wrist. She realized that they were in one of the hospital's cars and that she wasn't wearing her uniform anymore, just her tank top and a sheet covering her panted legs.

"Just one spirit, actually," she said thoughtfully. "Where are we going?"

"To the hospital, I need to get you in a spirit water bath as fast as possible."

"What for? I wasn't hurt, I just came back from an near death experience, that's all," Toph argued, but Katara shook her head.

"Toph, what did I say about overworking in the first months?" she said sighing. "You shouldn't even be at the trial."

The earthbender frowned. What the hell was Katara on about now?

"It's my job?" she argued. "I had to be there, it's my case."

"Yeah, but Yakone's a bloodbender, he hurt you both."

"I'm fine!"

"Toph, you're miscarrying, you're not fine!" Katara practically shouted and Toph's mouth snapped closed.

" _What?_ No, I just had a baby!"

"One thing has nothing to do with the other and you know that," Katara said firmly. Toph shook her head refusing to think of the way Kazuo pressed on her belly earlier. At first, Toph thought it was because that was where she had rested her own hands, but now…

"I'm not pregnant again, I just had a baby," Toph said with the same certainty and Katara sighed.

"Did you slip on your herbs again?"

Toph scoffed. And then she remembered.

 _Oh, holy fuck._

"Look," she said in the defensive. "I'm the Chief of police and I have two kids! Do you want me to slap that smirk out of your face, Sugar Queen?"

Katara shrugged.

"I was just thinking that I have _three_ kids, a job and I can keep tabs of my herbs just fine," she said all smug and then turned to her brother. "I think she likes to bear your children."

"Are you insane?" Toph exclaimed and Katara hit her arm light. Sokka was blushing.

"I'm just messing with you," she said. "I know you're not a fan of the process. But you have another on the way, and I have to get you to the bath before it's too late."

Toph had a retort ready, but she stopped short, her vision going blurry all of a sudden. She put her hand on her belly again, just like she had done in the spirit world and thought about it, thought about Kazuo's words. She felt the pressure and the weight of those words.

Everything comes with a price.

"No," she said at last. Katara frowned at her. "That's the price. Kazuo told me there would be a price and that's it."

When Toph thought about that feeling she was having before, the feeling she had after Lin was born and that was lingering longer after Su, she thought it was just it – that her baby was out, but still part of her. She never, for a minute thought that the feeling was coming from another baby.

She must've been so early on with this one, she didn't even notice. And hell, everyone knew she didn't want any more kids, but as realization came over her… the spirits gave her more than she asked for, but they also took a lot.

She wouldn't bear Sokka's second child now. She wouldn't bear children ever again.

Nothing is for free.

"Sokka," she said, and he held her hand tenderly, coming closer to her. He looked so serene. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, we talked about it," he said. Because they really had talked about it when she was pregnant with Su. "What matters is that you're here and you'll be all right. You're going to see your daughters."

"But-" she mumbled and he shook his head.

"We already have our girls," Sokka said. "That's enough for me."

Toph felt her lower lip tremble, but even so she smiled and then nodded.

"Okay," she said. Sokka smiled too. Toph turned to Katara. "Where are the kids? Take me to them."

"At the Island, but no," Katara said. "You have to be checked in the hospital first."

Sighing dramatically, Toph laid down on the hospital chair. She supposed they were almost there anyway, but damn. Sugar Queen knew how to ruin the mood.

-xxx-

She went home while Sokka went to get the girls at the port. Toph needed a shower and comfortable clothes and she needed to be mentally ready for that new experience.

To brush her hair, she went to Lin's bedroom, the one with a mirror, for Lin had been the first person to need a mirror in that house. Her hairbrush smelled of carnation, and it had been a gift from her mother when she had Su.

Toph sat in front of the mirror and stared at her reflection as she brushed her long hair. The strands were so dark, her bangs insisted on falling in her eyes. No wonder Mother always wanted her to push them back, though – Toph's eyes were very green. And so were her daughters', she was told.

She was anxious, and the movement of brushing her hair calmed her down. How long would it take for her to get used to the person in the mirror? Did anyone ever feel comfortable with what they saw when they looked at their reflection? Toph had always been comfortable in her skin, but now she was curious – what made her be called beautiful by so many people?

"Mom?" Lin called from the door.

Toph had felt the approach already, but she took her time brushing her hair, the strands heavy on her right hand as the left hand stroked it leaving the scent of carnation behind. She turned around when she heard her daughter's call, though, and faced a little girl with black curls and eyes as green as hers.

She gasped amazed and reached out for Lin to approach; the girl did so uncertainly until Toph took her hand. They had the same skin tone and everything, and Toph urged Lin to stand by her side in front of the mirror.

"My mother told me you looked like me when you were born, but that meant nothing to me," she confessed. Lin looked confused and the girl frowned. "Now I understand. Look at us. See?"

"I know, mom," Lin said with a small voice looking up at Toph. "I know I look like you. Uncle Aang always says that. He says that if I had a bigger mouth, it'd be hard not to think you were a kid again, but whenever I talk, we sound different. I never tell you, because I don't know which part would upset you most."

Toph frowned.

"Does that upset you, Linny?" she asked and Lin shook her head no.

"I like to look like you, but I also like it that I'm so blatantly me," she said making Toph smile proudly. "Mom, what's going on?"

"What do you think is going on?" she retorted and Lin looked right at her mother.

"You're different," she said.

"How so?"

Lin thought about it for a moment.

"You're in front of the mirror." She reached out and touched her mother's hair thinking. "Uncle Sokka says a miracle happened."

"Father," Toph said and Lin's head snapped up.

"What?"

"You can call him father. _He's not_ ," she added quickly when Lin opened her mouth to say something. "Your real father, but he's close enough. And he loves you just as much."

"Just as much as he loves Su?" she asked. "He's Su's daddy, isn't he?"

It was hard to hide the smirk, Toph found out. Her girl was smart. She'd make a good detective if she wanted to.

"Yes, and he's been begging me to have you two as part of his family since… a long time," Toph said. "So now I'm allowing him – us to be it. Family."

"Is that the miracle?" Lin asked and Toph shook her head no.

"Try again, from the start," Toph instructed leaving the hairbrush on the nightstand by the mirror and Lin followed her movements.

She looked from Toph's hand to her arms and then to the mirror where the two of them were reflected on and it hit her.

"Mother, your eyes!" she exclaimed turning to Toph, her small hands touching her mother's face, pushing her hair away. "Can you see me?"

Toph smiled and touched Lin's hair too, tucking the curls behind her ears.

"As clear as I could ever see, Linny, my little girl. My beautiful little girl."

Lin took a deep breath, her eyes wide and amazed, mouth ajar, and then she opened the biggest smile.

"A miracle!"

Toph nodded and was engulfed by her daughter's tight embrace.

"The world is so awesome, mom! You'll see."

"But I don't want to see the world," Toph said with a chuckle and Lin stepped back frowning. "I want to see my girls, that's all I want."

Understanding, Lin nodded and took Toph's hand.

"You already saw me," she said leading her mother off the bench and out through the door. "Now, Uncle is waiting with Baby Su in the living room."

They walked hand in hand to the living room, where Sokka was again the first thing Toph saw. He greeted her with a smile and her eyes dropped to his lap, where Su was sitting holding a doll.

Funny, she had a feeling Suyin was a big baby, but looking at her with Sokka, she seemed so small… maybe it was because he was so tall, or maybe it was because, well, Toph wasn't the largest person ever, and even a normal sized kid would feel ginormous in her arms, but she did gain a lot of kilos when that kid was inside her, so she only guessed she'd find a big ass baby in her living room.

Sokka took Su in his arms and got up from the sofa, walked towards Toph and Lin. Su had his complexion, but Toph's eyes and Lin's curls in a mess around her head. Toph touched the girl's arm and the child threw her arms at her, dropping her doll in the process.

"Mommy," she said and rather surprised Toph took her daughter in her arms.

See? She was big.

Su's arms went around Toph's neck and the girl made herself comfortable, her head resting on her mother's shoulder. Toph still felt a little lightheaded from the miscarriage, Katara said it was because of the blood loss, but she was strong enough to hold her baby, rely on her daughter's smile.

She looked over Su at Lin, who was standing next to Sokka now, offering her eldest a smile that was timidly returned, and then she looked at Sokka, who offered her an even bigger smile.

The price was quite high, indeed, but she was here now. Alive. Seeing, even though she didn't really need to. With her daughters, which was what really mattered. And with her Sokka, who was her first and only love. How grateful Toph Beifong was, that after such a chaotic day she could be here with her family now.

The spirits did give her more than she asked for.


End file.
